the geek test v.3.1

I HAVE...

programmed a calculator in math class
studied a language on my own
always hated mainstream
dated a geek
married a geek
done homework that wasn't required
done homework for somebody else
looked forward to dissecting a frog, pig, etc.
looked forward to doing my taxes
attended public academic lectures on my own
studied an artificial language (such as Klingon)
created an artificial language
filed the Census as my persona
worn 2+ watches at the same time
   to keep track of multiple time zones
named a pet after a scientist or inventor
   after a gaming, literary, or B-movie character
   after a mythological being
   after a technical term
a Ph.D.
a perfect attendance record in high school
   in college
taken notes in more than one color
thought I could win a quiz show
corrected a professor in class
corrected a salesperson on technical specs
corrected a supervisor on spelling or grammar
written a letter to the editor
written fan fiction
written hypertext fiction
written for a webzine
created a webzine
indexed and catalogued any personal collection
a subscription to a sci-fi or computer magazine
   an anthropological or history magazine
   a nature or science magazine
   a financial or literary magazine
   to a games or gaming magazine
solved a Rubik's cube
solved an entire 500+ piece puzzle

I HAVE BEEN...

Geek of the Year
in A/V club
a theater techie
to a gamecon
to another con
host at any con
game master
a computer lab monitor
to a LAN gaming party
host at a LAN gaming party
in a fan club or on their mailing list
"that guy" at a concert
in the SCA
seriously involved in the SCA
Trivial Pursuit winner > 10 times
called a geek
   several times
labeled socially inept
   by your "friends"
in "smart" classes
on a game show
a scout for 10+ years
a high school mascot
in marching band
in show choir
to band camp
to a math/science camp
in the chess club
on any sort of academic team
in a math competition
   placed high or won
in a science competition
   placed high or won
to museums by my own freewill
referred to as Dilbert
referred to as Velma
dumped at a dance
dumped at a Star Trek convention

I HAVE... (2)

attended a geek party
been really excited about attending a geek party
thrown a geek party
Beta tested this Geek Test
roleplayed
   3+ times a week
   for 12 hours straight (or longer)
introduced several people to roleplaying
gamed in a tournament
   and won
gone to a party just to play Trivial Pursuit
a phone number with GEEK as the last four digits
   or something equally geeky
worn a costume other than for Halloween or a play
worked for a Renaissance Faire
criticized normality
taken the Mensa test
joined Mensa
talked to plants to help them grow
quoted Yoda in conversation or debate, at least semi-seriously
gone to the movies alone
   regularly
gone to a movie dressed up like one of the characters
   alone
waited in line 2+ hours for movie tickets
waited in line 12+ hours for movie tickets
skipped parties to program or repair computers
   to read or study
   to talk online
   because I'm not cool enough to go
argued about which "Trek" is the best
founded a club of any sort
snorted while laughing
never turned down a date
held an office in the SCA
written articles for SCA publications
used "authenticity police" in a sentence
framed my scroll(s)

I HAVE READ...

Douglas Adams
Piers Anthony
Isaac Asimov
Arthur C. Clarke
Stephen Hawking
Robert Heinlein
Robert Jordan
H.P. Lovecraft
Anne McCaffrey
J.R.R. Tolkien
any "The Companion to ..." books
books based on Star Trek or Star Wars
comic books
graphic novels
fan fiction
hypertext fiction
The Knowne Worlde Handbook
books on math/science outside class
books on grammar outside class
books on history outside class
Russian literature outside class
gaming books
   cover to cover
entire calculator manuals
entire computer manuals
software/computer language books
for a reading circle or book club
joke/humor books for self-enrichment

I WANT...

more Magic the Gathering cards
a real lightsaber
a date
more computers
to work for Microsoft
to one-up Microsoft
to call Microsoft "Microshaft"
my own comic book store
my own gaming store
a yurt
Jean Grey
Jeff Goldblum
7 of 9
Jean-Luc Picard
Scully
Mulder
Max Guevera (aka X5-452)
Scott Bakula
Willow or Buffy
Legolas or Frodo
Leia or Amidala
ASIMO
more friends
more RAM
GPS
100-sided dice
to take over the world
to score well on this test

I BELIEVE...

in unicorns and dragons
in fairies, trolls or leprechauns
in aliens
in vampires
that I am a vampire
in the Force
that anything can be fixed
Linux is the only worthwhile OS

I ROUTINELY WATCH...

X-Files
Star Trek
Star Trek: The Next Generation
Star Trek: Voyager
Deep Space 9
Babylon 5
Farscape
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
MST3K
Dexter's Lab
Superhero cartoons (Batman, Superman, etc.)
Beat the Geeks
Jeopardy
Quantum Leap
Highlander
Junkyard Wars
spinoff shows of any of the above
documentaries
obscure movies
foreign films
Anime
History or Discovery Channel
Weather Channel
Sci-fi Channel
Food or Game Show Network
Cartoon Network
Tech TV
bonus features on DVDs

I HAVE SEEN (2+ times)...

Bladerunner
Clerks
The Dark Crystal
The Fly
Highlander: the movie
The Last Starfighter
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Two Towers
The Matrix
Any Monty Python movie
The Neverending Story
Princess Bride
Rocky Horror Picture Show
Spaceballs
TRON
War Games
Any Star Trek movie
All Star Trek movies
The Star Wars Trilogy
Star Wars Episode I and II
Transformers: the movie
Weird Science
Any Kung Fu movie made before 1980

I OWN...

5+ of the above movies on DVD
10+ of the above movies on DVD
pocket protector
Rubik's cube
2+ Rubik's cubes
more than one slinky
four-color pen
whole/partial set of figurines
multi-sided dice
a gaming book
a few gaming books
a ton of gaming books
>1 Steve Jackson game
   and the expansion packs
Most of the MageKnight line
   DC HeroClix line
   Marvel HeroClix line
Magic the Gathering cards
Universal remote control with LCD display
1 or 2 computers
3+ computers
a computer currently running on Linux
PDA, pager, and cell phone
DVD burner
Sun, HP, SGI server
2+ DVD players
2+ sound effects CDs
art made from color gels
a techie black outfit
a toy lightsaber
a real lightsaber
script to any Monty Python film
   any Star Trek film
   any Star Wars film
    rough draft of any of the above
several maps and/or globes
thermometer that also measures humidity
a full set of encyclopedias
2+ dictionaries
2+ calculators
> 1 chess set
> 1 trivia game
> 1 video game console
> 1 pre-1985 video game console (before NES)
beakers, test tubes or Petrie dishes
   and use them as cups or dishware
an exotic animal
   an endangered species
voltmeter
binoculars
spyglass
telescope
microscope
magnifying glass
laser pointer

Sponsored by

I WANT TO BE (OR HAVE BEEN)...

a wizard
a superhero
a physicist
a historian
an economist
a librarian
a meteorologist
an astronomer
a vampire
a professional sound techie
a professional lighting techie

I LIKE TO...

play with numbers
play with words/sounds
play with hazardous chemicals
make documentaries
read on Friday or Saturday nights
go to the library
browse the dictionary to learn new words
browse the Geek webring
do logic games
put together puzzles
help people with their finances
turn on my computer first thing in the morning
use 1024x768 or higher
use 1280x1024 or higher
program
roleplay
buy DVDs for their bonus materials
buy used game consoles
buy used video games
buy used electronics
work mathematical problems
work chemical formulas
do physics in my head
tinker with electronics
shop at Radio Shack
make people think I'm weird
play with Lego
listen to NPR or AM radio
watch public access TV
listen to audiobooks (Books on Tape®)
learn on my own

I PLAY...

Steve Jackson games
Warhammer
Call of Cthulhu
chess
word games (like boggle, scrabble, crosswords)
games on my PDA
trivia games
games that have received a Mensa award
solitaire games
   5+ times a week
They Might Be Giants
Devo
Weird Al Yankovic
Dr. Demento
Man or Astroman
Ween
Weezer
books on tape or CD
show tunes
cartoon soundtracks
music that nobody else listens to, ever
no sports
the accordion
more than one musical instrument
computer strategy games
Fantasy Baseball, Football, etc.
games via the internet
an excessive amount of computer games
Risk
   all the way to the end

I WEAR...

glasses
   that I have repaired myself
software company t-shirts
computer-humor t-shirts
computer-related ties, underwear, etc.
comic book-related ties, underwear, etc.
shirts that proclaim geekhood
Star Wars t-shirts
only black t-shirts
short sleeve dress shirts (men only)
a fanny pack
ugly or vintage clothing
as little brand name clothing as possible
my shirt tucked into my underwear
Spock Ears
   permanently due to plastic surgery
Vampire teeth
   permanently due to cosmetic dentistry
hi-tops
a digital watch
day-of-the-week underwear
suspenders

I COLLECT...

comic books
superhero paraphernalia
spoons
calculators
vintage computers
bugs
trains
pins
snow globes
neat-looking rocks
stamps
coins
dirt

I HAVE... (3)

cracked software
hacked into another computer system
had long Mac vs. PC debates
created an operating system
Beta tested software applications
Beta tested games
corrected Intel on hardware specs
altered registry files
used Usenet or IRC
created a newsgroup
a hard drive dedicated to mp3s
written shareware
written a regular expression parser
followed comic strips online
a computer at home with no cover on it
designed a robot
built a robot
built a go-cart
built a computer
built my own network of computers
designed a nuclear device of some sort
built a nuclear device of some sort
plotted world domination (to some extent)
destroyed things just to see how they work
played Final Fantasy
defeated Final Fantasy
defeated all Final Fantasy games
played video/computer games for 12+ hours straight
created a website
   before 1996
submitted my personal website to search engines
owned a personal domain
   before 1996
been on a listserv
created a listserv
more than 3 e-mail addresses
more than 3 screen names
dated someone over the internet
married someone I met over the internet
exaggerated on this test to score better
flat out lied on this test to score better

I KNOW...

C++
UNIX
Lisp, Ada, CGI scripting, Pascal, or Delphi
Java
BASIC
ASCII
HTML and/or JavaScript
l337 sp33k
Latin
what http:// stands for
what dpi stands for
what E=mc^2 means
the three laws of robotics
   and who invented them
Clarke's Third Law
how to set a telescope in polar alignment
the value of pi (to 10 digits)
more people online than in real life
who H.P. Lovecraft is
that Aol is the Spawn of Satan
that Bill Gates is both God and Satan
how to use special functions on a scientific calculator
chemical symbols for 10+ elements
the difference between speed and velocity
the names of 3 temperature scales
   and the H2O freezing/boiling points of each
the difference between nuclear fission and fusion
   and can explain it in detail
how to count in hexadecimal
the difference between octal and octane
what RAM and ROM stand for
who created MSDOS
who first implemented windows on their OS
what a "patch" means in computer terms
what the blue screen of death means

I KNOW... (2)

all about Jeanine Salla
what increasing barometric pressure means
how to count to 31 on one hand
how to play 7+ games with regular deck(s) of cards
how to roll-step and high-step in time
what GURPS stands for
my age in binary
my Jedi name
my Geek Code
the relationship between Chainmail and D&D
the names of 5+ Hobbits
   5+ dwarves from The Hobbit
   10+ Smurfs
   2+ Dragonlance characters
   5+ comic book writers
   5+ Food TV hosts
   5+ Star Trek characters
     from each generation
the odd/even number rule of Star Trek movies
that the new millennium started in 2001
what a THAC0 is
extensive, useless trivia
how to write 1999 in Roman numerals
that the answer is 42
that I am a geek

BONUS ROUND

I am a female geek (check all 5 boxes)
My profession requires a certain level of geekiness
Throughout my life, my level of geekiness has only increased
I think this Geek Test is really cool
I can think of other things that should get me points on this test

+ Geekish Tendencies................................≥09%
++ Geek.............................................≥15%
+++ Total Geek......................................≥25%
++++ Major Geek.....................................≥35%
+++++ Super Geek....................................≥45%
++++++ Extreme Geek.................................≥55%
+++++++ Geek God....................................≥65%
+++++++! Dysfunctional Geek.........................≥75%

  Back to top