the geek test v.3.14

I HAVE...

programmed a calculator in math class
studied a language on my own
indexed and catalogued any personal collection
done homework that wasn't required
done homework for somebody else
looked forward to dissecting a frog, pig, etc.
looked forward to doing my taxes
dated a geek
married a geek
attended public academic lectures on my own
studied an artificial language (such as Klingon)
created an artificial language
filed the Census as my persona
worn 2+ watches at the same time
   to keep track of multiple time zones
named a pet or child after a scientist, inventor, or technical term
   after a gaming, literary, or B-movie character
   after a mythological being
a Ph.D.
a perfect attendance record in high school
   in college
taken notes in more than one color
thought I could win a quiz show
corrected a professor in class
corrected a salesperson on technical specs
corrected a supervisor on spelling, grammar, or technical specs
written a letter to the editor
written fanfic
written songs or music inspired by something geeky
written a fan film
produced, directed, and/or starred in a fan film
written hypertext fiction
written for a webzine
created a webzine
a subscription to a sci-fi or computer magazine
   an anthropological or history magazine
   a nature or science magazine
   a financial or literary magazine
   to a games or gaming magazine
solved a Rubik's cube
solved more than one type of Rubik's cube
solved an entire 500+ piece puzzle

I HAVE BEEN...

Geek of the Year (or equivalent "top geek" award at a geek party/competition)
in A/V club
a theater techie
to a gamecon
to a comic con
to another kind of geek con
to any con as a cosplayer
host at any con
game master
a computer lab monitor
to a LAN gaming party
in charge of a LAN gaming party
in a fan club or on their mailing list
created a fan club
"that guy" at a concert
in the SCA
seriously involved in the SCA
Trivial Pursuit winner > 10 times
called a geek, nerd, otaku, friki, etc.
   several times
labeled socially inept
   by your "friends"
   by your family
in "smart" classes
asked to fix someone's computer
on speed dial as someone's personal tech support
on a game show
a scout for 10+ years
a high school mascot
in marching band
in show choir
to band camp
to a math/science/computer camp
in chess club
on any sort of academic team
in a math competition
   placed high or won
in a science competition
   placed high or won
in a computer competition
   placed high or won
to museums by my own freewill
dumped at a dance
dumped at a Star Trek convention

I HAVE... (2)

attended a geek party/festival
been really excited about attending a geek party/festival
thrown a geek party/festival
Beta tested this Geek Test
roleplayed
   3+ times a week
   for 12 hours straight (or longer)
introduced several people to RPGs
gamed in a tournament
   and won
gone to a party just to play Trivial Pursuit
a phone number with GEEK as the last four digits
   and/or something equally geeky
worn a costume other than for Halloween or a theatrical production
worked for a Renaissance Faire
criticized normality
taken the Mensa test
joined Mensa
talked to plants to help them grow
quoted Yoda in conversation or debate, at least semi-seriously
gone to the movies alone
   regularly
gone to a movie dressed up like one of the characters
   more than once to multiple showings of the same movie
   alone
waited in line 2+ hours for movie tickets
   for a new video game or technical gadget
waited in line 12+ hours for movie tickets
   for a new video game or technical gadget
skipped parties to program or repair computers
   to read or study
   to game and/or chat online
   because I'm not cool enough to go
argued about which "Trek" is the best
founded a club of any sort
snorted while laughing
never turned down a date
held an office in the SCA
written articles for geeky publications
faulted a movie for its technical and/or historical innaccuracies
   for missing important elements of the book it's based on
   for missing important elements of the comic book it's based on
used "authenticity police" in a sentence
framed my scroll(s)

I HAVE READ...

Douglas Adams
Piers Anthony
Isaac Asimov
Arthur C. Clarke
Octavia Butler
Stephen Hawking
Robert Heinlein
Robert Jordan
H.P. Lovecraft
Anne McCaffrey
J.R.R. Tolkien
Alan Moore
any "The Companion to ..." books
books based on Star Trek or Star Wars
all the Harry Potter books more than once
comic books
   of multiple ongoing series
graphic novels
manga
geeky webcomics
fan fiction
hypertext fiction
The Knowne Worlde Handbook
books on math/science outside class
books on grammar outside class
books on history outside class
Russian literature outside class
gaming books
   cover to cover
entire calculator manuals
entire computer manuals
software/computer language books
for a reading circle or book club
joke/humor/trivia books for self-enrichment

I WANT...

more Magic the Gathering cards
a real lightsaber
more computers
to work for Microsoft, Google, or Apple
to one-up Microsoft, Google, or Apple
my own comic book store
my own gaming store
a yurt
ASIMO
more friends
more RAM
GPS
100-sided dice
to take over the world
to score well on this test

I WANT OR WANT TO BE...

Jean Grey or James Howlett
Willow, Buffy, Xander or Angel
7 of 9 or Jean-Luc Picard
Scully or Mulder
Harry Potter or Hermione Granger
Mal Reynolds or Inara Serra
Caprica Six
The Doctor
Legolas or Frodo
Leia or Amidala

I BELIEVE...

in the Force
in unicorns and/or dragons
in fairies, trolls or leprechauns
in aliens
in vampires
that anything can be fixed
Linux is the only worthwhile OS
that all this has happened before and all this will happen again

I REGULARLY WATCH(ED)...

X-Files
Star Trek: The Original Series
Star Trek: The Next Generation
Star Trek: Voyager
Deep Space 9
Babylon 5
Farscape
Battlestar Galactica
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Firefly
MST3K
Dexter's Lab
Superhero cartoons (Batman, Superman, etc.)
Jeopardy
Quantum Leap
Doctor Who
Big Bang Theory
Red Dwarf
Highlander
Robot Chicken
spinoff shows of any of the above
documentaries
obscure movies
foreign films
Anime
educational programs (on PBS, History Channel, Discovery Channel, etc.)
Weather Channel
Sci-fi Channel
bonus features on DVDs

I HAVE SEEN (2+ times)...

Bladerunner
Clerks
The Dark Crystal
The Fly
Highlander: the movie
The Last Starfighter
The LOTR trilogy
   the extended director's cut
The Matrix
Any Monty Python movie
All the Harry Potter movies (that are released at this point)
Princess Bride
Rocky Horror Picture Show
Spaceballs
TRON
War Games
Shaun of the Dead
Any Star Trek movie
All Star Trek movies
The Star Wars Original Trilogy
The New Star Wars Trilogy, despite JarJar
Transformers: the movie (the original cartoon)
Weird Science
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Gattaca
2001: A Space Odyssey
Comic Book: The Movie
Serenity
Donnie Darko
Avatar
Galaxy Quest
Any Kung Fu movie made before 1980

I OWN...

10+ of the above movies
pocket protector
Rubik's cube
2+ Rubik's cubes
more than one slinky
four-color pen
whole/partial set of figurines
   that I customized myself
polyhedral dice with
   more than 20 polyhedral dice
a gaming book
a few gaming books
a ton of gaming books
>1 Steve Jackson game
   and the expansion packs
Most of the MageKnight line
   DC HeroClix line
   Marvel HeroClix line
Magic the Gathering cards
   from every generation
universal remote control with LCD
3+ computers for personal use
a computer currently running on Linux
a server farm in my own home
Sun, HP, SGI server
2+ sound effects CDs
art made from color gels
a techie black outfit
a toy lightsaber
a real lightsaber
script to any Monty Python film
   any Star Trek film
   any Star Wars film
    rough draft of any of the above
several maps, atlases, and/or globes
thermometer that also measures humidity
a full set of encyclopedias
2+ dictionaries
2+ calculators
> 1 chess set
> 1 trivia game
> 1 video game console
> 1 pre-1985 video game console (before NES)
beakers, test tubes or Petrie dishes
   and use them as cups or dishware
an exotic animal
   an endangered species
voltmeter
binoculars
spyglass
telescope
microscope
magnifying glass
laser pointer

Sponsored by

I WANT TO BE (OR HAVE BEEN)...

a wizard or witch
a superhero
a physicist
a historian
an economist
a librarian
a meteorologist
an astronomer
a vampire
a professional sound techie
a professional lighting techie

I LIKE TO...

play with numbers
play with words/sounds
play with hazardous chemicals
make documentaries
read on Friday or Saturday nights
go to the library
browse the dictionary to learn new words
browse the Geek webring
do logic games
put together puzzles
help people with their finances
use my computer first thing in the morning
use 1440x900 or higher
intentionally use 800x600 or lower
program
play RPGs
watch bonus materials on DVDs/Blu-ray
work mathematical problems
work chemical formulas
do physics in my head
tinker with electronics
create geek crafts
cross-stitch or embroider video game sprites and motifs
make people think I'm weird
play with LEGO
listen to NPR or AM radio
operate a ham radio
contribute to a open source project
   to multiple open source projects
watch public access TV
celebrate geeky holidays like Pi Day
listen to audiobooks (Books on Tape®)
learn on my own

I PLAY...

Steve Jackson games
Warhammer and similar games
Call of Cthulhu and similar/spin-off games
chess
word games (like boggle, scrabble, crosswords)
many types of board and card games
interactive games on multiple devices
trivia games
games that have received a Mensa award
a lot of solitaire games
Devo
Weird Al Yankovic
Dr. Demento
Man or Astroman
geek rock (Weezer, They Might Be Giants, Ween, Jonathan Coulton)
nerdcore (MC Frontalot, Optimus Rhyme, YTCracker)
wizard rock (Harry and the Potters, Hungarian Horntails, Draco and the Malfoys)
books on tape or CD
show tunes
cartoon soundtracks
music that nobody else listens to, ever
no sports
the accordion
more than one musical instrument
computer strategy games
Fantasy Baseball, Football, etc.
MMORPGs
   to the point where I need (or needed) an intervention
an excessive amount of computer games
Risk
   all the way to the end

I WEAR...

glasses
   that I have repaired myself
t-shirts, ties, underwear, etc. related to computer humor or fandom
   comic book humor or fandom
   science or math humor or fandom
clothing that proclaims geekhood
purses or bags that proclaim geekhood
a fanny pack
ugly or vintage clothing
only black t-shirts
as little brand name clothing as possible
my shirt tucked into my underwear
a hand-knit R2D2 beanie
Spock ears
   permanently due to plastic surgery
Vampire teeth
   permanently due to cosmetic dentistry
a digital watch
day-of-the-week underwear
suspenders

I COLLECT...

comic books
gaming books
superhero paraphernalia
spoons
calculators
vintage computers
bugs
trains
pins
snow globes
neat-looking rocks
stamps
coins
dirt
dice
baseball cards
plush microbes
anything MOC or MIMB
non-computer electronics components
vintage video game consoles

I HAVE... (3)

cracked software
hacked into another computer system
had long Mac vs. PC debates
created an operating system
Beta tested software applications
Beta tested games
corrected Intel on hardware specs
created ASCII art
altered registry files
used Usenet or IRC
created a newsgroup
ripped, equalized, and meticulously archived my music collection
created a computer and/or video game
followed newspaper comic strips online
followed webcomics regularly
created a webcomic
a computer at home with no cover on it
designed a robot
built a robot
built a go-cart
built a computer
participated in "distributed computing" projects (SETI@home, Folding@home)
designed a nuclear device of some sort
built a nuclear device of some sort
plotted world domination (to some extent)
destroyed things just to see how they work
played WoW
played Everquest
defeated Final Fantasy
defeated all Final Fantasy games
played video/computer games for 12+ hours straight
created a website
   before 1996
submitted my personal website to search engines
owned a personal domain
   before 1996
moderated a listserv/forum owned by someone I met online
created a listserv/forum
more than 5 screen names
met and dated someone over the internet (not through a dating site)
   and married that person
exaggerated on this test to score better
flat out lied on this test to score better

I KNOW...

C, C++, Java, and/or C#
Lisp, Ada, CGI scripting, Pascal, Delphi, COBOL, and/or Fortran
Python and/or Perl
BASIC
ASCII
HTML, JavaScript, ActionScript, ASP, and/or PHP
l337 sp33k
Latin
what http:// stands for
what dpi stands for
how to communicate color in Pantone terms
what E=mc^2 means
what "managed code" is
how to write shell scripts
the three laws of robotics
   and who invented them
Clarke's Third Law
how to set a telescope in polar alignment
the value of pi (to 10 digits)
more people online than in real life
who H.P. Lovecraft is
the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow
how to use special functions on a scientific calculator
chemical symbols for 10+ elements
the difference between speed and velocity
the names of 3 temperature scales
   and the H2O freezing/boiling points of each
the difference between nuclear fission and fusion
   and can explain it in detail
how to count in hexadecimal
the difference between octal and octane
what RAM and ROM stand for
who created MSDOS
who first implemented windows on their OS
what a "patch" means in computer terms
what the blue screen of death means

I KNOW... (2)

all about Jeanine Salla
what increasing barometric pressure means
how to count to 31 on one hand
how to play 7+ games with regular deck(s) of cards
how to roll-step and high-step in time
what GURPS stands for
my age in binary
my Jedi name
my Geek Code
the relationship between Chainmail and D&D
the names of 5+ LOTR characters
   2+ Dragonlance characters
   5+ comic book writers
   5+ comic book artists
   5+ Star Trek characters
   5+ Star Wars characters
     from each generation
the odd/even number rule of Star Trek movies
in what year the new millennium really started
what a THAC0 is
extensive, useless trivia
how to write 1999 in Roman numerals
that the answer is 42
that I am a geek

BONUS ROUND

I am a female geek (check all 5 boxes)
My profession requires a certain level of geekiness
Throughout my life, my level of geekiness has only increased
I think this Geek Test is really cool
I can think of other things that should get me points on this test

+ Geekish Tendencies................................≥09%
++ Geek.............................................≥15%
+++ Total Geek......................................≥25%
++++ Major Geek.....................................≥35%
+++++ Super Geek....................................≥45%
++++++ Extreme Geek.................................≥55%
+++++++ Geek God....................................≥65%
+++++++! Dysfunctional Geek.........................≥75%

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